of course, always back with random thoughts.

I wonder what it's like to develop an internet personality. But I see it actually as a talent...some people just have a better knack for it. Kinda like for music, art, even the eye for color. I only have a knack for...logically approaching technical issues. Yeah, I can fix up a computer, but I'd hardly call that inspirational.

Perhaps internet vloggers/bloggers are also more free-willed than I, and just lets their real self be shown to others around the net. They aren't afraid of the repercussions, of people thinking they're annoying, or wrong, etc. 
Me? I'm always worried about other's opinions and always have trouble letting go of issues that I have with people (if we're in some sort of conflict that's unresolved, it just...floats in my mind. The ever present whisper that just makes me terrified that I'm doing something wrong.) I used to think this was good...in terms of working in teams, I want to do what is best for all. But...it's limited. (well, I guess internet personalities/fame is potentially self-focused. *shrug*)

And last bit...pessimism. Yeah, rage is fun every once in a while, but really, only a few people can pull it off to rage all the time. It's those funny people, like ItsKingsleyBitch on youtube. Ya, you might not agree with him, but he's still hilarious and people like that. But if I look at really what I write about, it's usually about shortcomings, or rage at things, etc. Just...negativity.

I only flail in tags/strikeout text. Why is that? I never really wondered about why I did that. Interesting.

I didn't want to pay attention in class so I did some cosplay planning.

I forgot that I needed to work on Ada Wong for RERF stuff...oops. At san japan, I will definitely need an outfit by then.

New Stuff:

• Ada Wong, RE 1 and RE 4 outfit if i can do it
• Yuuko white dress if I'm up to it. Did some sketches on the design today too.
• Joey cosplay

Stuff to fix:

• Chii
• Ed
• Finish up Kigurumi (tail and plushie)
• Fix up the Matt wig in case whitney wants to do Digimon weregarururmon

So i'm actually already pretty locked in. Ed and Chii would be good to bring to San Japan because it's not huge group stuff. I probably need to start now, it's a buttload of work @_@ start simple and finish what I got first. Yuuko will be all summer...the design looks nuts.

And I will probably need to bother Alex for embroidery help with Ada's butterfly design...and yuuko's vines/roses. geez...wish I could just crossstitch this stuff.

I actually have the chance then to fall out of love with characters.

Shoot, I was obsessed with Kakashi and Renji back in the day. And now I don't give a rat's ass about them at all.

(i think xanga is turning into my random thought blog, since usually on FB not EVERYONE understands my fandomism/my line of thought...like talking about old anime crushes, or wedding random thoughts. even tho i block most ppl from seeing my statuses, you never know. No one understood my Redwall sadness /CRYS/

...and tumblr, well...text kinda just is so easy to scroll over. or rants, because everyone apparently just ignores those if they don't agree. I prefer text to have a conversation. Perhaps I should get a twitter...does twitter work that way??)

but for some reason, it would be cool to have a SLIGHTLY themed wedding, huh? That would help a lot in planning :O

But i might as well list some themed ideas so when the time comes, I won't forget

• The Princess Bride (not sure how that would work, except that I have to put in 'MARRIAGE IS WHAT BRINGS US TOGETHER TODAY' somewhere)
• Alice in Wonderland (tons of ideas could come from this one. might be too cliche)
• uh, that's all i can remember at the time.

(i think these thoughts came from that UP photoshoot and also late night webcamming chats~)

OMG

i really had way too much fun on this cruise. The atmosphere for me was just perfect, I had just the right amount of freedom to not be bored and not feel too dragged along.

I'm probably just going to map out everything in paragraphs, but first some overall stuff:

- my first vacation without my family. If you don't count anime conventions...anime conventions are fun but can be stressful because there is so much to do, and this cruise was fun but could be boring because there's not much to do sometimes
but personally, I needed some down time and I really enjoyed it. So much.

- going with my company was awesome because I wasn't tied down by anything. My roommate actually had a family emergency last minute, so I got a room COMPLETELY to myself. Yea, I feel bad for my roommate, but i FELT AWESOME FOR MYSELF. I could wake up whenever, and a lot of the time ppl did at least travel around with their roommate. I just got up whenever, moseyed around my room taking my time getting up, etc. But it was great that the company was there, it was a large enough group that if i wanted to find someone to do something with, I could. I almost always went to a meal on my own but found someone to eat with along the way.

- I didn't get motion sickness. Very lucky, because some ppl who suffered from that was just terrible to see. the conditions were really windy, and the boat did rock a lot.

- I didn't spend that much money on the ship, which is what I was afraid of. Just stuck to my water and I could still party like a drunk, so I only paid for like tips. Offshore, I got some trinkets and stuff, so probably overall only spent $100. Not bad!

- Overall, I was fine with the food, but ppl said the food was bad. Mebe cuz I wasn't used to eating the american food...so it all tasted pretty good to me. THe thing ppl lined up for a lot was the Mongolian noodles, which they cook in front of you, but I didn't think it was that special (and not worth the 30 minute line time.) I only gained 2 pounds (and I think that's muscle, because of all the walking/dancing) because I ate kinda sparingly...it's not like i paid for my ticket, so I don't feel i need to eat my 'food's' worth. Plus I started out with a sore throat/cough to get over so I was pretty disciplined in not eating too many cold things/fried stuff. I didn't want it to ruin my vacation. :)

Saturday: 12/11

Woke up and drove to the office, who had rented one of those charter buses to drive us to Galveston. I sat with Janine and we probably got on the boat around 1:00? grabbed some lunch and then explored the ship with Janine and Melody, to familiarize myself. Afterwards got ready for dinner and had the pork chop, and cheesecake. (will post photos when I upload them)

Afterwards I think I changed for karaoke, and went to the karaoke show. It was in the big room that we liked (the other nights it was in the Chinatown room, which wasn't as nice in terms of sitting). I didn't get to sing because i took to long to sign up for something, but MAN! there was some DRUNK OLD LADIES who were dancing. Bad dancing. it was like OMFG. One was pulling up her skirt and probably fell down a couple of times, and EVERYONE could see EVERYTHING. it was pretty hilarious. Our group of girls were large, good cheerers, and in the front, so they started trying to get us to dance with them. She was pulling so hard on one of the girls she says she has bruises, and also the guy in our group (only one) let one of them kiss him on the cheek, but she bit him instead. They were nuts. They bought us all shots to dance with them for a couple of minutes, so yeah. they were pretty crazy. (shots are like $10)
we heard later that one of them threw up all over their room and passed out, and the sister was screaming her head off that she thought her sister was dead. One of our coworkers was rooming nearby, and security came and it was just MESSED UP. dang. crazy ladies.

After karaoke we went to the 'single and ready to mingle', which is pretty much just dancing at the Stripes club room. Since I did have a couple of shots (free ones that ppl gave me) I was kinda sleepy and didn't that much, and had pretty bad asian flush. :< but it was fun~ we were going to jump in the pool after that but it closed at 12 so we only ate.

Sunday: 12/12

Woke up kinda late, and I think Toy Story 3 was on so I ended up watching that. Ate lunch and I can't really remember what I did before dinner. but that dinner was the formal night, so I probably took a lot of time to glam up and stuff. I wore my dress that I wore at the great waltz at UT, it's more of a classic/ballroom sort of dress, whereas a lot of the ppl wore the more modern, short, shiny dresses. I ate the prime rib steak, it was awesome. (can't remember my appetizer. I think stuffed mushrooms?)

we went to karaoke afterwards, and I sang the Enrique Inglesias "Just want to be with you". I personally have never been in a karaoke bar, but my theory is if ppl are actually kind of listening (and not like, drinking...a lot of the audience was just sitting and waiting for their friend to go, etc) I want to sing fun songs (because i'm only like, average...there are some amazing singers out there, so why compete for attention that way? haha) It was actually too low of a key for me, but I tried winging it.

We went to the comedy hour afterwards, but it was so crowded a lot of the group wasn't able to make it in time. The comedian was pretty funny (not rofl for me, kinda like how panty and stocking is not rofl for me :p) Afterwards I remembered Penny was like "I'm going to the jacuzzi at 11, adults only corner" but ended up everyone else wanted to go dancing. i wanted to try the jacuzzi and met up with her...as stories go, she pretty much was chatting with a guy earlier at the karaoke bar because she missed the comedy hour, and he (Tom) joined us later...there was some other guy there too (Taylor...there were many taylors on this ship. it was weird. This is taylor 1) and we had the normal conversation when the other two would occasionally make out. lol I was cool with it, always interesting memories. There were 2 tubs and since we were in the shorter, less warmer tub, Penny and Tom wanted to kick out the teens who were in the other tub, which was apparently warmer. I followed, and after we made all sorts of teasing remarks about how young they were, they left after some time and I third wheeled for a bit....SO when they were going back for drinks I just stayed back and hung out with Taylor 1 for a bit. Apparently he's a mechanic and we talked a bit about cars and stuff (so hopefully i'll know about it more when it comes to buying).

I was going to head back to my room but I swung by Stripes (dancing) and ended up staying...I was wearing my shirt over my swimsuit and although I was having fun, the girls were like "yeah, we can see the wet spots on your boobs" and to risk looking like my armpits sweat weird, I took off my cover shirt...yeah XD;; (okay, I had an pretty adult vacation, so there will be all sorts of unusual attention whore/slut actions. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED. you shoulda noticed with the whole Penny/Tom thing already. This is just day 2). I also happened to lend my shoes to Debran, one of the girls, but I got stepped on a lot and ended up just going back to my room, getting shoes, and changing so I wouldn't be all "no shirt, no shoes". More fun timez. Gabby was sexiled  and she slept in my room on my extra bed.

Monday: 12/13

Woke up late...we had docked at Progresso, but I wanted to save my money on a nicer beach for cozumel, so after my brunch I went offshore around 1:00 and did some shopping. Bought some necklaces and some stone figures for my mom and dad (elephant for mom, pig for dad). I kept seeing ponchos and I wanted to get one for Rory poncho ppl, but I didn't know the colors so I gave up :( 

Went back on deck and Dora found me to play/teach mahjong. I won a lot, but I was playing with the n00bs at the time. Got ready for dinner...ppl had already stopped showing up less and less, I dragged Gabby and Penny to eat because Gabby's favorite waiter was kinda WAITING AROUND for her...haha. I had the grilled chicken with fettuccine.

Everyone wanted to watch the Texans game on the TV, so I hung out with Gabby and penny for a bit. Taylor 2 (a firefighter) and Stu were talking with them. Just sat around for a bit before I went back to my room and was going to get some nap time in...the next day was Cozumel, the nicer stop, so I wanted to get in more rest. However I watched a lot of Hello Baby! with Shinee for a bit, and then napped late...I was supposed to wake up for the mexican buffet at 11, but sleeping at 10:00..yeah. I didn't wake up until 12. I knew some ppl would be dancing, but at 12 the boat felt really rocky, so I just kept sleeping).

Tuesday: 12/14

Woke up early and got breakfast (first real breakfast and not brunch). I saw most of the girls (the emme group) who wanted to grab a cab for Mr. Sanchos beach. But as we were walking, ppl started stopping and shopping, so Tracy, Erin, and I just went ahead. I don't know if the rest ended up going to a beach at all, but I had fun regardless.

Just tried tanning, ate some nachos and 2 sodas, and jumped in the sea for a bit. It was pretty windy, so it was a little uncomfortable. I did put on sunscreen, (and learned the difference between sunscreen and suntan) but definitely not enough and got pretty sunburned.

heading back, Tracy and Erin wanted to stop at Senor Frogs, which is a famous bar/club, but I excused myself to do a little window shopping. Back on the ship, I grabbed some more food. Dora wanted to play mahjong and skip thru dinner...we had all eaten kind of recently and weren't hungry...but we ended up going to dinner anyways. I just ordered the lamb chop and didn't eat much. My whole table was gone, and so I sat with another table of our company. but yeah. ppl really stopped showing up. *shrug* I was cool with it.

Afterwards I played some more mahjong...but we picked up Melody as a player and she was kinda stubborn to not play GaiWu (the easiest hand, worth 0 points), so it kinda ran on our mojo of trying to strategize (see, if someone is going for the easiest hand, then the game goes by too quickly and no one can pull any good combos). Went to stripes and although a lot of group was there, there was a lot of ppl suddenly disappearing and I'm just going to say I had to make my own fun.

Wednesday: 12/15

Woke up normal time, but was kinda too tired (too much walking and activity the day before, and I didn't even eat much) so then I was kinda put off from doing much anything at first. I was trying to play some more mahjong in the morning, but again, someone ruining the mojo, I felt. But then I joined the girls to run the water slides and that was fun. We left earlier than I wanted to go to the jacuzzi, where it really hurt my sunburn. :T there we heard there was a sauna and so we checked that out too! Very interesting and hot. Melissa and I ended up going back to the water slides to cool off from that (plus, we liked the water slides XD) and also stopped by the pool. Cleaned up and the I got glammed up in Lornetta's clothes (a lot of us did) and Gabby did my makeup. It was pretty crazy.

We went to karaoke afterwards and I sang the Thong Song (It was epic. YEAH.) and also later NSync's tearing up my heart. Much better experience. We stayed till the end (11) and went to Stripes again afterwards. More dancing. Taylor 2 had joined us for karaoke, and later saw taylor 1 at stripes. lots of taylors, but not important taylors. Ppl left early. I ended up sex-iling myself out of my own room but I walked around until I found someone I knew, Jerry and chris's roommate, charlie, to talk with before going back to my room to sleep.

Thursday: 12/16

Spent most of this day getting off the boat and back home. WHOOHOO. that's it.

If you want more juicy details I don't think I can write it here. But I had fun with my girls and old chinese ladies. It was great and they all love me now cuz I'm awesome at partying. >:D point 1 for nerd girl.